Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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