Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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