Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
