I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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