no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
honey bunches of taint.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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