The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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