we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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