I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
