Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
