Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize