Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
