I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
