i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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