well you can't waste a boner
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
