You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you had me at cake vodka
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
