who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Are we still banned from the library?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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