HIV tests are more positive than that guy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
