its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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