You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
