whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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