I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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