I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I will pee on everything he values.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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