Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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