Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How's work?
Spinning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
