Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
