whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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