she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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