You're completely useless in the revolution.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i now understand why vodka
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
