Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
