wat bout pragnant strippers??
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
