Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
