I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
