bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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