The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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