how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize