Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Are we still banned from the library?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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