just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
