FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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