Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
