and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
