it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
