he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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