Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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