Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
