Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
