Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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