I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up under a house in Key West
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