Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
