Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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