when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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