shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
