Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
