Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You smell like stripper and shame
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm at about main and main street
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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