respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
