Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
