I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
